yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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