i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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