i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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