is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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