I hope mine doesn't look like that
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
