Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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