she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
