so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
