im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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