I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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