i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
17 year olds will be the death of me.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
