Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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