YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
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I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
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Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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