nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
