No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize