she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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