love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he thought i was a dude.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
