I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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