This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
