I love black thongs
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
