Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
