how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
