He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
