Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
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Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
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Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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