I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize