so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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