That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
