Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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