We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just invented taco cereal.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
