I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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