so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
