um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
