Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize
