Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
