How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
