i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
