umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
