i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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