We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
