The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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