Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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