I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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