You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
