even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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