lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize