I think i sorta joined a cult last night
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
