no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
