in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize