Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
the night ended with taco bell and tears
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
