____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
im having a threesome with these popsicles
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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