Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
