I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
