Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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