just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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