when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
