U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
