Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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