Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Randomize
