You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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