I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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