I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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