you traded sex for a burrito?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
