Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
