You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
