he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
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drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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