when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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