i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
