I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
