the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
