We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
