Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
