you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
