mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize
